Tony's Lost
by Night Angel Gunny
Summary: This is after agent afloat. Tony comes back different and the team isn't sure whats wrong. Gibbs love and protective nature over Tony grows stronger with the news. Mention of Rape that produces MPreg. You don't like rape that leads to pregnancy don't rea
1. Author's Note

**Hello all I need to give my thanks to Donna she edited a lot of my stories that I had already post making them more readable know she is helping me with the ones I am writing know and she has done a great job. So much thanks to Donna you are the bomb girl. This girl is sticking to me like glue and she good at what she does.  
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	2. Chapter 1

**Disc: I do not own the characters or the show of NCIS. **

**Couple: Leroy Jethro Gibbs & Anthony DiNozzo**

**Story: After Tony comes back from being afloat something isn't right. It's not just the team getting used to being a team again, something happened aboard the Reagan, he just isn't saying anything. So he working alone in cold cases. Jethro can't figure out how to fix Tony, but maybe he can.**

**OOC: Tony has been raped, there will be mention of his rape and there is also Mpreg. If you don't like rape or mpreg, then please don't read.**

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Vance called me to his office. He walked in and motioned for me to sit down as he walked to sit in his own chair.

"Agent DiNozzo came to see me after work, yesterday. Thought I would give you a warning, as he didn't seem too eager to tell you himself." I sat down and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Why wouldn't DiNozzo come to me himself, when he has a problem?" Why the hell was he going to Vance with problems?

"He is changing units, sometime soon, between two weeks and two months."

I was stunned. I stood up and nodded to Vance and headed out. I headed over to his apartment because it was Friday and he'd already headed home. I knocked on the door, hard. When Tony answered, I pushed past him and into his apartment. I really needed a beer so I headed to the fridge, vaguely hearing Tony in the background.

"Guess Vance told you about me transferring?" I heard him come in and he sat down on the counter.

"Ya think, DiNozzo? Why the hell couldn't you come and tell me yourself? Why the hell are you leaving the team, just as we got the team back together?" He leaned back and took a long drag on his glass of milk.

"'Cause it's time for me to leave. I've been thinking on it for a while, wanting to work alone." I walked over to him and slammed my beer down on the counter and his glass of milk.

"There's got to be way more to this than just because it's time!" He looked at me and grabbed the beer, taking a long drink.

"Now see, if it was something you needed to worry about, I would have told you. You've got a month to get yourself a new team member. McGee is ready to be a senior agent." That told me that something had happened.

"Tony what happened on the Reagan? 'Cause I know this is more than the team being off. There's been more bugging you ever since you got back. What the hell happened on the Reagan?" He looked at me and jumped down, pushing me hard out of the way and started to walk to the living room.

"The guy's dead! He died in a car accident, no need to dredge up what the fucking Navy bastard did!" I stopped where I was. I'd obviously hit a nerve and it wasn't good, but Tony needed to talk about it. I walked in to where he was sitting and I looked at him.

"Tony, you want a beer and we can talk about this? Come on." He leaned back on the couch and looked up at me.

"Can't drink, Boss. You can take the rest of the beer home with you when you leave!" He leaned back. "The Madam Director's death is basically my fault. I was pretty much trained by you, so that I see almost all military people as good and are here to protect us. You know, I am so used to seeing how some of the bad side of the Military will kill others. I had my share of shit happen to me on cases." I looked at him, now becoming more and more worried.

"Tony, what happened?" He stood up and threw the glass against the wall, making it shatter. The milk was gone.

"The fucker came into my room, shoved some kind of cloth in to my mouth, stripped my pants down, bent me over my desk and shoved his fucking cock in me! What else do you want to know, Boss?" I didn't know what to say or do. I stood up and dragged the man into my arms and slide my hands up and down his back gently.

"Shhh, Tony. Come on, I'm here for you." He broke down in my arms, he slide his hands into his hair as I led him to sit down. I let him cry himself out. He clung to me, I'd never seen Tony just lose it like this before. God, I wish the man that raped him wasn't dead because I wanted to kick his ass so badly.

"I can't stop throwing up in the morning. I dry heave until it hurts and I don't know what's wrong with me." He pulled back some and I stroked some tears from his face as I looked at him.

"Tony, this got something to do with why you can't drink?" He looked at me and he nodded. He spoke but he'd suddenly switched subjects.

"I'm not straight, Boss, never have been. All those talks about girls were just a show and I know that you knew that. I prefer men, but I am good with girls, always have been. But after Jeanne, I just gave up on dating either, truth be told. You're the only man I've had eyes for, ever since you hired me. Then Jeanne came and I was allowed to be with her. I think that's why I fell in love with her." I was about to say something. "The guy said he found a magazine of mine, it was of naked men. He said that fags should not be allowed on the Reagan and he wanted to teach me a lesson!" I slid my hands along his face and looked at him.

"Tony, I'm a damn ex-marine but I've been bi-sexual since I started learning about attraction to others and thinking about sex. That asshole had no right. I am glad he's dead, I just wish that I'd had a chance to beat the hell out of him first. But why can't you drink, Tony?"

He stood up and he started to pace around the room. God, this dick fucked Tony up bad! I was amazed that he'd let me hold him and touch him. But we'd had eight years together, we had trust that was strong. It was much stronger than I had with anyone else on my team, besides Ducky. But it was different because Tony had my back when someone tried to kill me, same with him. I fell for him the instant I hired him in Baltimore, and it has grown stronger because of being with him. I stood up and walked over to him and stroked along his face.

"Tony, I can't lose you, got me?" I ran my hand down to his waist as he buried my head into my neck. "You, Tony, are Anthony DiNozzo, the man I trust with my life. The man I hired because I saw someone I could trust to have my back. That hasn't changed, you are still the man I want with me at all times, to protect me. Got me, Tony?" He was letting me hold him, I took that as a good sign.

"Tony, why don't you move in with me? When you're finally feeling safe enough to live on your own, you can do it. I don't think you need to be alone right now, Tony." I wasn't worried about him transferring, right now. More about making sure he feels safe. We would work on the transfer later, and why he can't drink liquor. The puking, that was a sign of pregnancy and I had seen in his record that he was born with the right condition for that to happen to him. He moved back and he nodded.

"You sure you don't mind, Boss?" I looked at him and shook my head and pushed him towards his room.

"Pack as much as you need for a month. And Tony, hurry, you need to eat something." He headed into his room, nodding at the comment. Pregnancy would be better then what that piece of shit could have given him. I walked in and started packing the things he was throwing onto the bed.

"Gibbs, I'm not different right, just cause he did this, am I? There's nothing wrong with me liking being with a guy, right, Boss?" I looked at him as I continued to load his things into his bag.

"Tony, you are a strong man, you're going to overcome this. No, it's not wrong for you to be wanting to be with a man, and it never will be. Don't worry about what people think about you." I packed a few more things in his suitcase. "Tony, you're pregnant, right?" He looked up and leaned against the dresser. He nodded to me. I walked across to him and looked at him.

"That's why the transfer? Planning on keeping it, Tony? I understand the transfer, you're protecting the little one." He leaned back some as he looked at me.

"Not sure what to tell Vance. Doctor says I am about seven weeks along, and the baby is healthy. Got me on prenatal pills. I've just started having the morning sickness." It's not something that happens a lot, most men get surgery to fix the reproductive organs in their body.

"You're staying on the team. I'll talk to Vance about you being pregnant, I'll leave out the rape part. You are going to move in with me." He was about to say no and give me a reason.

"Tony, please, let me do this for you." I put a hand on his stomach, knowing he would understand this. "For you and the little one's sake, please, Tony?" I was going to make sure that the man I cared so much about played this safe, because male pregnancy was dangerous and I wanted to make sure that the life growing in him was okay too. I was glad Tony was keeping it, he would make a good father, no matter what he thinks.

"Come on, let's load your things in my truck, huh? Don't be lifting anything to heavy, Tony."

We moved all his clothing into my truck and we got a few other things he wanted. We took the TV from his room, it was smallest in the apartment, and we got a lot of movies packed up and headed over to my place. We stopped to get pizza and we'd stopped at the store before that, he needed juice and milk. I heard him upstairs as he was putting his things away in the spare room on the end. The middle one we would make into a nursery. I still had Kelly's nursery furniture and it needed to be used. I think my baby girl would agree, she was a loving child. I heard Tony come down. He looked a little pale and I had heard the toilet flush.

"You okay, Tony? I think maybe we should be telling Ducky about this." I moved to him as he stumbled and eased him down onto a chair. I knelt and stroked his head and cheek, checking for fever.

"You know Gibbs, I've never known you to be so touchy feely before. I just got dizzy. I don't throw up until morning, most of the time. It's only been once that I've got sick after work." I nodded some and stood up and put a plate in front of him with some pizza. Then I put out a large glass of milk for us both with some pizza. He took a sip of the milk.

"Thanks Gibbs." I had to chuckle, it was always fun to watch Tony eat. He had the manners of a rich man but sometimes he was just like us when he ate. Another way that Tony was like us, was that he had a heart of gold. He would protect his friends from anything.

"Tony, I know you may not want to hear this now. Yeah, cold case would be safer but stay with us. I know it's going to be a little extra work for McGee and Ziva, but they can handle it. There were times when there was just you and me. Then there was you, me and Kate. We can do this, Tony. We did good work and you know it." He looked up after swallowing his pizza, he drank some milk and sighed.

"Yeah, I know, Boss, I just didn't want the reason that those two had to work extra was because I was knocked up." I took a bite of the pizza and took a deep breath.

"Tony, even through all the joking and probing you guys do, we're a team and we care about each other. The team is going to understand why and they're going to be there for you, Tony. You know that right?"

He leaned back, he'd finished the two pieces. He was a fast eater, he just stood up with the milk and headed back upstairs. I leaned back in my chair, okay, this was going to be harder than I thought. I finished my milk, it'd been a while since I drank milk for dinner. I washed the cup and threw away the paper plates we'd used, it was a lot easier to have paper plates. I went down to the basement to give Tony some time to relax and think about things. We had talked about a lot and he hasn't had a lot of time to think over what I'd said. I heard him come down the stairs and he sat down at the bottom of the stairs.

"I am still going to cold cases, Gibbs. I want to do that so I can spend more time with my kid when it's born. Working with the team, well, we work long hours, Boss, you know that. Sometimes we go three days straight. I still want to work as a detective, and this will let me do it, and take care of my child." I guess I couldn't fight with that, I knew that Tony was a responsible man when it came to the big things. I walked over and leaned against the wall and nodded.

"I can understand your choice and I won't fight you on it, Tony. The team is still going to be there for you, Tony, always, know that. You have been with Ducky, Abby and me for eight years. McGee for five years and Ziva for four years. Let them be there for you, too." He nodded and stood up, he walked over to the boat and he slid his hands along it, as he looked it over.

"I want to live with you, even if I go to cold cases. Can I stay with you, Gibbs?" I nodded to him and walked to where he was. I touched his back, sliding my hand along his lower back, softly.

"I want you here so I can help you and help you when the little one comes. Tony, can I tell you something?" He sat down on the stool, looking at a piece of wood, but he looked up at me for a second.

"You can tell me anything, Gibbs." I leaned against the boat and looked to him.

"I'm bi, Tony! When I hired you, the main reason was because I knew you would have my back and I could trust you. But it was also partly because you were handsome and attractive. It has grown to more than just attraction, I have started to care about you. So you're not the only one. You told me how you feel about me, I thought you deserved the same." He looked at me, a little shocked, and I took a deep breath. I had opened up this far and I needed to keep going. "I care about you, Tony. Maybe right now wasn't the time to tell you, because of what happened to you. I am here for you, Tony, and I will always be here for you." He walked over to me and putting his hands on my chest, he looked at me. He kissed my cheek as I slid my hands along his waist, pulling him to me. I stroked his face as he continued to look at me. He blushed, it was the first time, I think, that I have seen Tony blush.

"Thank you for telling me, Gibbs. It make me feel so much less vulnerable." I smirked at him.

"Tony, I know this sounds jealous since you're moving units. Can we try for a relationship?" He stroked a thumb along my cheek, it felt so good to feel it.

"Yes, I've been wanting to try to have more then just a short relationship. I would like to try for a real long term relationship. But, Gibbs, what if it doesn't work? Can we go back to being friends?" I smirked some as I moved.

"Tony, the thing is, are we willing to take a chance to have something great? But I think we can still be friends if it doesn't work. The thing is, do we want to try for it, Tony?" I touched his back. "How about cookies and some milk?" He laughed softly and I looked over to him.

"Man, Jethro, I feel like a kid." He blushed. "I mean, Gibbs." That sounded good on his lips. I slid my hands along his back slowly.

"When we're not at work, Jethro is what I want to hear. Not your boss or co worker here, Tony."

I got us to the kitchen and looked in the cabinets. I pulled out some homemade oatmeal cookies and set some on a plate with some milk. I could see his mouth water, Tony liked food and fine cloths. He looked at me, questioningly.

"These are homemade!" I looked at him as he took a bite. He looked like he was in heaven.

"Yeah, the lady across the street, her husband is a Marine. She says a fellow Marine deserves to have some homemade food, especially with the job I have. If she has left over on the weekends, from the kids and her, she gives me some of it, or once a month, if I can, I have dinner with them. She's a nice woman and the kids are five and eight." I took a bite of the cookie as he drank some milk and he looked at me.

"You think she can give me tips on how to raise a baby?" I laughed some.

"Tony, the woman loves company and loves to talk. Her brother had a baby with his life mate. I think she will love to help you. I bet if we ask, she wouldn't mind watching the baby when you're at work. She loves to be surrounded by kids and it's right across the street. You know, pay her what you would a day care, and that would give her some extra money."

He smirked and nodded. He continued to eat, he looked like he could almost purr, he seemed to be enjoying the cookies that much. He was like this most of the time, with any kind of food. That kid was going to get enough food to grow the way Tony eats.

"Would it be okay if I moved my big screen into the living room? We could watch movies, 'cause you don't have a TV in your living room." I had to laugh as I nodded.

"Yeah, Tony, we can put the big screen in there so we can watch movies. When I am working on the boat, that will give you something to do." I saw him smile like a child, then he stood up and started to do the dishes - there were just two cups. "I think that this is going to work out real well, Tony. I really want to tell Ducky tomorrow. You know that male pregnancy is dangerous, right?" He nodded as he put the dry cups away and he moved to sit down.

"Yeah, we can tell Ducky for now, but no one else." I nodded, seeing him yawn, and I walked over, smirking.

"I think we both need some sleep, Tony, we've got work tomorrow and the pregnancy is gong to wear you out. So get some sleep and then we can go to work together tomorrow." He nodded and stretched out as we headed up the stairs. Okay, this was corny but I walked him to his bed room and stroked his face. I kissed him slowly and slid my hands into his hair, he softly moaned and kissed me back.

"You need anything, don't care about the time, Tony, come and get me, okay?" He nodded and smiled to me. That smile that always stops my heart! He leaned forward and kissed me slowly, running his hands over my chest. I smiled to myself as we kissed slowly. I leaned back and he smiled.

"I will come to you, Jethro. Goodnight." He smiled at me again and he headed into his room.

"Goodnight, Tony."

I left him and went to my room with a smirk on my face. I was still pissed that someone had raped Tony but he seemed to be dealing with it better than most would. The fact that he wanted to keep the child was a good sign. Then the fact that he let me kiss him and touch him like I did, meant a lot to me, as well. I went to sleep thinking of me and Tony being in a relationship.


End file.
